Terminally single comedians, Jessie Jolles (betches, JFL) & Claire Burns (Upright Citizens Brigade), have years of dating battle scars they laugh about on their weekly podcast. Bringing their show back to the stage for a Valentine’s week special event. Because V-DAY is their D-DAY. Since they need all the help they can get, they’ll be joined by a dating expert to help up their dating game. Then they’ll have an actual live blind date on stage for everyone to witness their failures in real time. It’s a must see show for all. If you’re single or partnered, you’ll thank your lucky stars you’re not them.

Use discount code “LOVE” for $10 tickets

We’ve been assuming a lot. What guys think of our online profiles, what they meant by that question about our workout routines, and why we’re being ghosted. It’s time to stop assuming and go straight to the source. We have a panel of single guys breaking it all down for us. We’re riddled with curiosity, intrigue, and terror to hear some truth bombs. We may need you to hold us tight after the show. And always.

To Swipe or Not To Swipe, that is the question. Do they look like they’ll sweep you off your feet? Fulfill all of your sexual desires? Crush your soul through daily microaggressions? Or just simply murder you? These are the questions we ask with every single swipe. Online dating can be overwhelming with possibilities so we have Lily Womble, founder of Brazen, joining us this month to share some tips from her workshop, Swipe with Intent.

We're lowering our skirts & raising our standards because we’ve had it! Apparently our frantic loneliness has obliterated our standards so we’re taking back to reigns. This month we’re taking a deep dive into our dating fails to see where we went wrong. We’ll be joined by breakup coach, Chelsea Leigh Trescott, who will help us see ourselves in a new light and higher worth. So throw on your diamonds & pearls and join us for the highest caliber of self deprecating humor.

We know you love our bodies. How could you not! But what are our bodies actually saying? Could they be undermining everything we say when we go on dates? Our inability to find love has to be because of our body language because it's certainly not from our personalities or crippling insecurities. :-/ Join us this month when we dissect the language of our bodies & find out how to fully express ourselves. We’re also going to take a look inside our bodies & find out the best food to eat before a date if you plan on getting busy & what tasty treats to enjoy after you cancel your date & hang out in your pjs. Come laugh & learn with us!

We made it! The winter obligation season is over so we can finally date again without the pressure of an approaching holiday! This Valentine’s Day we’re celebrating dating again and sharing the love with our audience. Just because we can’t be successful, doesn’t mean our audience can’t be so we’re paying it forward…

With a BACHELOR AUCTION!! And if love isn’t incentive enough, all funds will be donated to PLANNED PARENTHOOD. There will be games and stories and loads of laughs. Whether you’re single and ready to bid on your next ex or a couple who needs a reminder of how great it is to not be single, this show is for you!

Wow. A whole other year and still single? Yeah, we’re not surprised either. What better way to celebrate a lack of change than a show looking back on all the broken promises, ghosting guys, and tales of times we should’ve just stayed home in 2018. Let’s laugh it all off and make some laughs for the year to come. Because no one can make pitiful & desperate more hilarious than us.

’Tis the season to show how much you love someone by the gift you give. Screw that. We’re the F@$&#*G present! Join fed up comedians, Jessie Jolles and Claire Burns (UCB, Scary Mommy, Kohl’s), as they show you how your very existence should be the gift. No wrapping necessary unless you just want to wear a big red bow like a luxury car. It will be a full night of laughs complete with outrageous stories and a raffle of treats that may or may not include that big red bow.

No matter how you feel about the holidays, they’re STRESSFUL. If you’re single or coupled, you’ve got to deal with family expectations & travel & so much food & not enough stretchy pants to go around! No fret because we have the perfect stress relief!! This month we’re going to arm you with answers to all the pressing questions you’ll get from nosey loved ones. We’ll have a trail run at a family dinner table, a live blind date, & a matchmaker to help us find the type of date our mother’s would love. A night of laughs is the perfect appetizer for a holiday of indulgence. See you there!

Aaahhhhh!!! Oh, that’s just our myriad of fears peeking around the corner. This month we’re facing those debilitating fears to show them who’s boss. Or at least acknowledge them which our therapists say is a great first step. We have a lot of irrational fears like falling off low curbs, having a chia seed in our teeth while chatting with a cute boy, being split in half by a falling elevator, dying alone... but we also have the greatest fear we all share: the unknown. Join us as our guest astrologer gets spooky while talking about all the retrogrades messing us up & looking at what we’re sure to be our bleak romantic futures. It’s going to be TERRIFYING!

There’s no better time of year than a birthday and we’ve got a big one! We’ve put together a show with all of Jessie’s favorite things to ring in the bigger and better decade in style. Will we talk about documentaries? Wear brightly colored, mix patterned outfits? Tell more stories about our failed dating woes? Fill the stage with Bachelors for Jessie to choose from in The Dating Game? And will we all have so much fun that we’ll be sad when it’s all over? YA BETCHA!!!! It’s a celebration so great you'll think it's your birthday!

Claire is crying & Jessie is thriving because it’s the end of summer. There’s a shift we all feel this time of year: it’s time for back-to-school shopping, saying goodbye to our summer flings (or lack thereof), and pulling out those bulky sweaters ready for your own hibernation. This month we're bringing back a fan fav, a live blind date! And we're taking it up a notch to include an obstacle course! Then we'll chat with a real live young & cool lady to help us be as chill as winter. Come for the embarrassment, stay for the laughs.

Bonjour! Hola! Guten Tag! Ni Hau! We're giving up on America and looking overseas for better dating options. This month we’ve put together a panel of our favorite foreigners to discuss dating customs from all corners of the world and decide where our next vacation needs to be. We’re also exploring dating shows too crazy for America and might even fill out applications for each other. You don’t want to miss!

It’s finally summer and we’re having flashbacks to summer camp! Oh those were the days. When our biggest concern was what we packed in our bags versus how much baggage we have. Friends ruled and boys drooled at camp so we’re honoring how special friends are to us all. Who else can make us feel better over sugar & alcohol after all our bad dates! We’re thrilled to have the always fabulous Jenna Marucci (Jenna & Aileen Think You're Great) join us for crafts & scary campfire stories AND a professional wingwoman to help us, help each other!! 

Join us for a good ole time where we'll be dreaming of s'mores, no bug bites, and just one decent date.

We're still together after 1 full year!! This is the longest & most successful relationship Claire or Jessie have ever been in. To celebrate such a momentous occasion, we’re looking back at the past year to learn from the chances we took and the self sabotaging choices we repeatedly made. A certified matchmaker, Amy Van Doran from Modern Love Club will help Claire repair her broken picker, an eligible bachelor will be subjected to a live blind date with Jessie for all to watch, and many more surprises! We’ll laugh, we’ll learn, and we all might just fall in love. Just kidding. That will never happen.

Get down with the NSTAL ladies at a live Throwback Thursday! It’s Claire’s birthday so we’re throwing it all the way back to her birth decade by playing The Dating Game! So groovy, baby! Three very special guests will be playing for the date of their lives that will take place on stage for all to see. And don’t you worry about the losers, we have a party planned that’s to the max! Can you dig it?!

It’s Spring Break BABEEE!! We never did the typical Panama City Trash Break in college (shocking, we know) so it’s time to let our freak flags fly! We’ve put together a show that has all the craziness of a foam party but with a lot less stickiness. You don’t want to miss a night of bikinis (on shirts), test tube shots (of wine), & a couple very special guests!

We’re doubling down this month because V-Day is our D-Day and we also happen to have double Ds. Shockingly, we found 2 men to go on a BLIND DOUBLE DATE with us ON STAGE! We have games to play, secrets to expose, and personalities to love. 

Because there’s no such thing as too many available men, SINGLE MEN get in free! So ladies, join us. Couples & coupled are welcome too. Just keep your "happiness" to yourselves. 

Also featuring:
Xochitl Mayo (UCB, Who Made The Potato Salad?)

WE'LL BE ON FACEBOOK LIVE! We’ve heard the call of the meteorologists and decided tonight is a snow day! What do people in love do on a snow day? WATCH ROMCOMS! If you already have cabin fever, join us tonight as we watch some clips from our fav romcoms and talk about how optimistic we are for the new year and new love. 

Jessie & Claire realized their issue with finding love MUST be because they were never formally debuted! Finally this month, the world will know that they are indeed eligible for marriage or at the very least, dating with their very own debutante ball. And because no woman can be trusted to present herself, Jessie’s father & Claire’s Best friend are traveling to NYC to escort them for the event of the season! 

AND back by popular demand, a live blind date! 

Featuring*:
Robert Jolles (acclaimed speaker & best selling author, Father)
Brooks Alford (Nashville, Bestie)

Claire & Jessie have been in the game for a long time and have scored plenty. But they’re far from winning. They’ve been playing offense and defense but no matter the side, the ball keeps fumbling. This month they’re calling a time out to huddle with their coach, International Dating & Relationship Expert, Hunt Ethridge (huntforadvice.com). Hunt will review their failed plays and run some drills before sending them back to the line of scrimmage. 

(All football references are hereby exhausted. Wait, one more...)

HALFTIME with the brilliantly hilarious…
Michelle Collins (The View, Bachelor in Paradise: After Paradise)

There’s a chill in the air, the leaves are turning, and our drink of choice has switched from rosé to a hot toddy. That can only mean one thing…it’s the start of cuffing season! But for Claire and Jessie, it just means more alone time with a few more layers. :-/

Bring your chosen cuff or come looking for one, we’re going to have a friggin blast at this month’s show. Come find out if Claire and Jessie bring their handcuffs so we can all really lean into the season. 

FEATURING
A Blind Date!
Tarot Card reading with Kristy Belich
and
Tom Cowell (Writer, Comedy Central)

Have you ever wanted to go on a blind first date or talk to an ex in front of a crowd? Jessie and Claire are going to do both for your entertainment!

This month we have a very special night of couples. Jessie will have a blind first date, we'll hear from a happy couple, & Claire will chat with an ex about why they didn't work. All of that AND stories, you say? It's true! You'll have so much fun, you'll leave with a story to tell your grandkids or at least your deli guy.

AND since Jessie & Claire are desperate, single guys get in FREE!

FEATURING
the first date:
Chris Metcalfe & Jessie Jolles

the happy couple:
Kelsey Bailey (UCB Harold Night, Here & Queer)
and Kelley Quinn (Power Hour, Straight Marriage)

the ex:
Justin Perez (Undie Party)

It's going to be a laugh & love (or lack thereof) packed show! We've got the amazing & talented EA Hanks, Jay Malsky, AND Jon Fisch.

Join storytellers and terminally single ladies, Claire & Jessie, as they share some of their ridiculous love mishaps and ask some of New York's finest storytellers to share tales of love, loss, and hopelessness.

You'll laugh, you'll cry (with laughter), and you'll probably be hit on by the desperate hosts. Overall it'll be a jolly good time.

This month we have the amazing:
Chelsea White (MTV's Girl Code, Ghosted Stories podcast)
Rasheda S. Crockett (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, U OK? podcast)

Join storytellers and terminally single ladies, Claire & Jessie for their inagural show as they ask some of New York's finest storytellers to share tales of love, loss, and hopelessness. 

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you may be hit on by the desperate hosts, but overall it will be a jolly good time.

This month we have the amazing:
Natasha Vaynblat
Jiji Lee
Babe Parker & Leo Martin